I try not to follow celebrities unless I really can’t help myself, for that there is a recipe for heartbreak.
This video is dedicated to the famous people online, but especially the ones on Twitter:
Celebrities are what the gods were in ancient Greece: fictional characters leading scripted lives. At the bottom of all the hype, they are people too, but it’s unlikely you’ll ever get to the bottom of the hype. We’re all living in a public-relations junkyard. You’d need a couple of bulldozers, ground-scanning radar and a team of archaeologist spelunkers in hazmat suits to get to the bottom of it.
I’m thinking about this today, because there are some celebrities on my follow list on Twitter. The majority are indifferent to my presence as they are to any other schmuck’s. One or two of them are sweet.
Others are a volatile combination of arrogance and Twitter addiction. Following them means having to scroll past clusterfucks of their half-baked tweets, and yet they also ignore anyone lower on the social ladder than themselves, pretty much defeating the purpose of Twitter.
One of them I will call Annoying Famous Dude.
AFD is genuinely talented. World-class talent. He’s also a social-climbing snob, has a disgusting sense of humor, and makes nasty remarks about his own friends. He doesn’t seem to realize how unpleasant his own stream of consciousness is; maybe because he is surrounded by fans who praise him all the time.
People like this are not on Twitter to socialize or share information, they’re there to push their product. There’s no real need to engage a faceless online audience when all they want is whatever’s in our wallets.
So why not purge all people, famous or not, who don’t answer back or who just seem unpleasant? That is the question.
I already have a policy of unfollowing anyone who is rude or who spams me: why should celebrities be exempt?
I have already unfollowed one churl who replied to me in an unmannerly fashion after I asked him about something he had tweeted about. That was painful because I had loved his work all my life, but I didn’t want to see his tweets any more after that. Why do people tweet things if they don’t want to talk about them? I can only guess he wanted to talk about them with somebody more important. Feh.
I don’t like unfollowing people; it seems so final, almost like a divorce. I followed them because I admired their work, and giving up on that is hard. I really do enjoy what they do, even if I don’t like them much in person.
But there isn’t much point in following people who don’t interact with you. It just makes you feel even more like a lowly peasant than you already do. Social networking and snobbery don’t mix.
Famous people spend a lot of time doing the things that made them famous in the first place, and/or networking with people who can help them in their careers. Any time they have left over from that they spend trying to relax enough to maintain their sanity. They have no time for your insignificant ass.
Even if you did manage to befriend one, you’d find it a bit of a let-down. They already gave the world the best of themselves; there usually isn’t much left over. All that is magic about them, you already possess; you won’t get anything more from getting closer, you’ll only be disappointed to find the human remnant of a star is just as annoying as your next door neighbor.
Still on the fence about this, I consulted the online oracle about whether to dump Annoying Famous Dude. Though I sat there cheering it on with “Yes! Yes! Yes!”, the oracle said no.
Updated to add:
After overthinking it over one more time, I dumped his unfunny boring ass. Life’s too short to read annoying tweets! And you know what? The world didn’t end. Maybe I overthink these things.
Anyway, I’m still poor and I’m still weird, baby.
Feel free to tell me what an idiot I am in the comments.