Reframing rape as that thing somebody else likes to watch

In response to horrific but true post at GynocraticGrrl’s Tumblr about what really goes on behind the scenes in the p()rnography industry, there were some sneaky little comments.   Since these commenters are advocating practices that do women harm, I have collected some below in order to call them on their bullshit.

Tumblr user “ravingliberal” refuses to get the point

I see what you did there.   You framed the problem as being “mainstream” p()rn.  That leaves your own special “feminist” p()rn in the clear because it’s not “mainstream”.  Effectively negating the original post while pretending to agree with it.  P()RNOGRAPHY is the issue.  All of it.  Including the kind you watch.

Two patriarchy deniers give p()rn the faint damn that praises

I’m sure by interesting they didn’t mean titillating and that they totally didn’t get a boner from reading about the misery of exploited women.   Which is why they are totally taking the post seriously enough to deny that what it’s talking about is actually a problem.

Look at Sensitive Guy here!

His empathy has an expiration date

Aw.  So sensitive.  But look!  He’s found some hairs to split that he thinks will totally negate the message of the post!  That’ll help him  get over any pangs of conscience “in a while” and go right back to happily consuming graphic representations of rape.

Not awful enough for you to stop oppressing women

Pointing out the damage done to human beings makes this dude feel guilty.  Isn’t that teh sadz?  But he can’t make up his mind if he should stop. The rights of women are just not important enough for this to be a clear and unambiguous choice.  Not when dudeboners are at stake!

Another kinkster kidding herself that some p()rn is good

Because raping women in front of a camera on an amateur basis totally isn’t an act of violent oppression the way it is in the industryViva organic, free-range rape!

Being pro-woman just isn’t cool.

Translation:  “I think this is a necessary conversation for other people to have. Maybe they’re doing something wrong and should stop.  But not me.  I’m fine.  Going to watch some more rape now.  Don’t worry.  It’s not mainstream.”

“… keep you from consuming the graphic representation of rape.”

If by “not perfect” you mean “built upon the violent oppression of women”, you’re right, ‘rickjamesbitch’. I can tell from your username that you care about women very much.  I’ll pass on your kind suggestion that we reform the rape-in-front-of-a-camera industry to be nicer to the women that it rapes, and offer a suggestion of my own that those responsible for the rape industry collectively board a rocket to the sun.

Hey, people who think some kinds of p()rn (like the kind you watch) are OK? If you can’t stop kidding yourselves, the least you can do is quit lying to everyone else about what p()rn is and what it does.  There is no good p()rn.  P()rn is rape. There is no good rape.  There is no feminist rape.

Quit lying.

*Yes, I went to great lengths to avoid my blog turning up in web searches by p()rn-seeking creeps, and I do expect you to follow this lead in your comments.

30 thoughts on “Reframing rape as that thing somebody else likes to watch

  1. Hello there,
    Just wondering – if a woman chooses quite happily to make a p0rn video in which everyone behind the scenes is treated with respect and consensually, and even on camera there is no sexist content, why is it still rape?

    Do you not worry that the argument that ‘all p0rn is rape’ demeans the choices made by people like that – people who may be the minority, but they do exist?

    If sex doesn’t have to be inherently sexist, then why should sex on film be?

    • Choice is only possible in a non-coercive situation.
      Women do not choose to be born into an oppressed class where they’re expected to serve as decorative buckets for male incontinence. They do not choose to be deprived of social approval and access to financial resources if they do not accept their role as meatsocks. They do not choose to be sexually abused and exploited as children, or as adults for that matter. They are coerced from cradle to grave to serve men.

      It doesn’t matter how “respectfully” a woman is raped or how non-rapey the rape conditions seem. I do not worry about demeaning anyone’s “choices”, because those choices aren’t real. They’re an illusion conjured up by the pimps who tell women that p()rn liberates them when all it really does is reinforce their oppressed status.

      Since men own and control the world’s resources, and women are forced to serve them in return for a roof over their heads and food on their plates, it is not possible for a woman to “choose” her own oppression. She can’t choose her way out of it, either, so that blows a big hole in the sexual libertarian philosophy. Sexual libertarianism only represents freedom for men. Same as all the other political philosophies invented by men.

  2. In theory, if everyone in Earth stomped their feet at the same time the seismic vibrations would blow the planet apart. Like your 100% sexism-free p()rn, it hasn’t happened yet and the chances of it ever happening are statistically infinitesimal.

  3. So is consensual, happy sex between the oppressed gender and the less oppressed gender also always rape, or is it ok when it’s not on camera?

  4. Ok, so I’ll rephrase what I said: if the oppressed gender has consensual sex with the non-oppressed gender, is it always rape, or is it ok when it’s not on camera?

  5. I’m trying to ask a question about what you, not the rest of the internet, have written. You haven’t answered that question. You don’t have to, obviously, but it seems odd that you won’t.

    It doesn’t matter, I doubt you and I would ever agree on this, for a start I don’t agree that there is only one oppressed gender, gender has plenty of grey boundaries for a start, and men get screwed over by being told by the patriarchy how to behave ‘like a real man’ (obviously in different ways, to different extents).
    But, I’m getting off topic. Good night.

    • It’s not my job to satisfy the particular curiosity of people who come to my blog to play dumb in the hopes of getting me to waste my time and energy explaining basic principles of feminism. That’s a classic tactic used against marginalized groups. There’s not much point engaging you further, because you are here to defend the status quo and I really don’t have any fucks left to give about that.

      The truth is out there. It’s your job to find it. I don’t think you will, because you’d rather not know.

  6. The reason why the “mythical free, choicy feminist pr0n” comes up again and again and again is because we would like for it to be real. We would like for it to exist because we cannot bear the thought of pr0n not existing.

    But pr0n is, unequivocally, bad. It’s bad for the women participating in it and it’s bad for the women who have to live in the culture it creates.

    And if it’s bad for women, it’s also bad for men.

    So my question is… why do people cling so tight to something that is unequivocally bad for everyone?

    If pr0n could be made “good”, it would have been made good ages ago. Much like if banking could be made good, it would have happened already. But it can’t happen. Because what people want, when they go after pr0n, is “bad stuff”. It’s intrinsically part of the deal.

    “Sex” was never meant to look like pr0n. We were never meant to get off on looking at other people getting paid to pretend to be getting off on stuff that they are actually hating.

    Since pr0n is bad, and it’s entirely unnecessary, we needn’t be scared to see it go. We can have much, much better sex without looking at other people.

    Indeed. The best sex we will ever have cannot, by definition, involve “other people”.

      • What do you mean by ‘good’? Cos if you mean if the same sense as Mary Tracy, I don’t think there ever has been any ‘good’ pr0n made.

        I think the only way that you can swing that is if you have a really narrow definition of what ‘good’ means in this context, and even then my personal feeling is that you would struggle.

    • Well, it can involve other people, but it can’t involve turning those people into objects.

      I think the sex-pozzers cling so tightly to the p()rn because deep down they know their Nigel will dump them before he gives up the p()rn. They need the male approval so badly. I don’t blame them for needing approval, because that’s a human thing, but I do blame them for the denial and delusion that makes them lie about what they’re doing. It’s not only bad for them and us but also bad for the very young women who are just reaching adulthood and whom the p()rn industry is longing to get its hooks into. They’ll never be able to reclaim their prostituted images once they get sucked in. They deserve to know the truth about what they’re getting into.

  7. Holy Hell, that article is one of the most horrifying things I’ve ever cast my eyes over. I’m actually crying. And STILL, after reading it, folks can deny, excuse, ‘rationalise’, prevaricate, and generally stick their heads up their privileged, wilfully myopic asses. Were despair in any way productive, I’d embrace it.

  8. I’m so sensitive to pr0n triggery stuff that I couldn’t even read ‘this’ post. But I trust you to be right on what you say!

    I don’t need to know all the ways in which torture is wrong in order to support the closure of Guantanamo.

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