Not Like Other Girls?

This is brilliant.

Fat Heffalump

Comic strip by Kate Beaton aka @Beatonna Comic strip by Kate Beaton aka @Beatonna

Once upon a time, I was the young woman in this cartoon.  I was the one that professed to be “not like other girls”.  I told anyone who would listen that I preferred men as friends, that I found “other chicks” shallow and boring.  My guy friends always told me I was “Cool, not like other chicks.”  They said they could hang around me because I didn’t “cause drama” like other women, and that I didn’t take things “so seriously”.

That was partly because I’d been taught that fat women weren’t the same as “normal” women.  I believed that I wasn’t included in womanhood, so I figured the best bet was to just join the boys and to turn my nose up at “other chicks”.

Another part was self preservation.  As long as the guys liked me, they weren’t calling me a “crazy…

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On Poverty

There are of course many ways to become poor; some people are born into poverty, some people achieve poverty, and some people have poverty thrust upon them. Usually (I suspect) it’s a combination of factors. Suggesting that someone being poor is entirely about their lack of personal responsibility is as ignorant as suggesting someone being poor is entirely the fault of “society.” Speaking from personal experience, one indeed must make the conscious decision not to remain poor and affirmatively work toward the goal of a better life. Speaking also from personal experience, one does not often escape poverty without the help of others, both as individuals and as one’s larger society. Without both, the possibility of leaving poverty becomes dramatically smaller.

What I generally find implied from people who suggest poverty is wholly a personal flaw of character is the following thought: “Since you are entirely reponsible for your poverty, I have no responsibility to help fight poverty in the United States.” This is akin to someone comfortably standing on the deck of a ship looking over to see another person splashing in the ocean, asking for help, and deciding not to throw them the life preserver that’s hanging on the railing on the grounds that clearly that person decided to go for a swim and therefore it’s their responsibility to make it back to the ship before they drown.

Well, possibly that person went for a swim; possibly they fell overboard because they had too much to drink; possibly a sudden swell knocked them overboard; possibly they were shoved into the water. The thing is, a more rational person will wait to examine the root causes of that person being in the ocean until after they’ve thrown the life preserver and helped to haul that person back unto the ship.  — John Scalzi,  Being Poor Additional Comments Thread

 

As someone who was homeless for two years, and had to listen to judgy well-off people going through whatever verbal or logical contortions they could to avoid having any compassion for people like me, this really resonated.

“Feminists are ugly”

Beauty is for art, not people

Beauty is for art, not people. Ice Cave by M.K. Hajdin

Many men and even some women believe that feminists are ugly.

Men who only value women who meet conventional standards of beauty and are willing to please them sexually interpret all women who don’t fit those categories as “ugly”, because to them women only exist to be decorative penis holsters, and any women who isn’t beautiful enough or who doesn’t put out on demand is “ugly” because “ugly”, as we all know, equals “worthless”.

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Quote of the Day: Fantasy

Batman

Batman by M.K. Hajdin

 

“People with narcissistic thinking and behavior strive to defend their fragile self esteem through fantasy and have blind spots in their thinking. Living in a fantasy world where all their needs are met and unrealistic expectations take the place of life. They become involved in material things, vanity, and are shallow developing excessive life long interest in things that are not real such as movies, rock stars, soap operas and video games.  [I would add comic books and pornography. — MKH] They fear their feelings, gaining deep friendships and intimacy and cannot develop mature love relationships. ”

Lynne Namka, Ed. D. “Selfishness and Narcissism in Family Relationships“.

 

I should add that of course I don’t think that every person who likes movies or comic books or video games is a narcissist living in a fantasy world.  I’m talking about people who immerse themselves totally in fantasy worlds for hours every day, and avoid real relationships with other people.