On projection


“…Everything a man cannot courageously accept about himself is projected onto his mother, or his wife.  Or onto any random woman walking down the street.”

— Monica Sjoo and Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother

When you’re arguing with a man and he’s accusing you of all kinds of crazy shit that you know you didn’t do, he’s projecting his own qualities onto you.  He’s actually guilty of all that crazy shit, but he can’t accept it, and so he shoves it off onto you, or other women.  Men do this because they “other” women, because women aren’t quite human to them.  To them women are blank slates ready to reflect anything men project onto them.

You see this in rape, porn and sexual exploitation in general;  men think it’s sexy and hot, so they project this onto women.  Then they pressure women to go along with the script.  They actually believe their own projections and if a woman doesn’t go along with the script, she is presumed to be lying, attacked and punished.  That’s why women who object to porn are labeled “repressed”. That’s why rape victims are not believed, or are dismissed as “asking for it”.

On abusers


“This broken individual desperately needs to feel invincible, to win, and be in control. Being wrong, having to “give in,” give up, or to place another’s needs before their own is unacceptable.”

— Dr. Irene, “The Abuser