More about backlash and silence

When men say, “Shut up about what men have done to you, or else you’re wallowing in victimhood when you should be doing something more positive”.

Fight Club

A few years ago now I was working in an office which had a poster on the wall saying “women are talking”. It was an inspirational message-ey one, like the “Keep Calm and Carry On” mugs. At the time, I loved it. I thought it was true. I thought we’d broken the silence and that was it. Patriarchy had just said “oh fuck, they won that one” and gone home.

More and more these days I get a chill running down my spine as I realise quite how limited the space is where we’re allowed to ‘talk’. (By ‘talk’ here I mean talk about men’s violence against us. There’s another chill there about how that’s obvious before you even specify, most of the time.)

For a start, we can’t ‘talk’ or ‘speak’ any more. We have to ‘disclose’, ‘share’, ‘confess’. Even the act of naming what men do to us…

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Feminism and “victimhood” 2

something blue

Radical feminists do not keep women down any more than the weather forecast creates bad weather: they are just stating the truth about the low status of women, they are not creating it: men do.  

–Francine Sporenda

People who claim feminists “just want to be victims” or “are keeping women victims” are often men who have it pretty good in their own lives, and who don’t want to see what’s happening to women because they don’t want to care.

Someone is Finally Starting to Count ‘Femicides’

Someone is Finally Starting to Count ‘Femicides’

Karen Ingala Smith does very important work. Read more about it here.


With the growing awareness about domestic violence and sexual assault, we rarely use the most concise word for brutality against women: femicide, the murder of a woman. Femicide is rarely tracked by government agencies, but now one woman in the U.K. is beginning to compile a list of women killed by men.

Karen Ingala Smith, chief executive of British anti-violence organization nia, has been keeping track of all women killed by men (all men–not just current or former partners). On her blog, Counting Dead Women, she’s tallied up 126 women killed by men in 2012, 144 in 2013, and 148 in 2014. Smith is just one woman counting up news reports of dead women in her spare time, but she’s the closest thing the U.K. has to an official count of women killed by men. When she was approached by global law firm Freshfields about preventing violence against women…

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Not Like Other Girls?

This is brilliant.

Fat Heffalump

Comic strip by Kate Beaton aka @Beatonna Comic strip by Kate Beaton aka @Beatonna

Once upon a time, I was the young woman in this cartoon.  I was the one that professed to be “not like other girls”.  I told anyone who would listen that I preferred men as friends, that I found “other chicks” shallow and boring.  My guy friends always told me I was “Cool, not like other chicks.”  They said they could hang around me because I didn’t “cause drama” like other women, and that I didn’t take things “so seriously”.

That was partly because I’d been taught that fat women weren’t the same as “normal” women.  I believed that I wasn’t included in womanhood, so I figured the best bet was to just join the boys and to turn my nose up at “other chicks”.

Another part was self preservation.  As long as the guys liked me, they weren’t calling me a “crazy…

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“Feminists are ugly”

Beauty is for art, not people

Beauty is for art, not people. Ice Cave by M.K. Hajdin

Many men and even some women believe that feminists are ugly.

Men who only value women who meet conventional standards of beauty and are willing to please them sexually interpret all women who don’t fit those categories as “ugly”, because to them women only exist to be decorative penis holsters, and any women who isn’t beautiful enough or who doesn’t put out on demand is “ugly” because “ugly”, as we all know, equals “worthless”.

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