Internment by Robin Hextrum, 18 x 18 inches, oil on canvas
Some women think they can use words like douche “properly.”
Bear in mind it is literally a manifestation of men’s hatred and disgust and insistence on the female body as men imagine it to exist: unclean, impure, inferior, filthy hole that needs to be washed – don’t use it on just anything assholey. Respect it, and use it as that analogy.
Sounds all ironic and clever, doesn’t it?
Remember what I said before about irony? Doing something ironically is still doing it?
Insults are defined by the dominant class. Oppressed classes don’t have the kind of power or authority to alter those definitions, and it’s dangerous for us to think we do.
We’re not going to redefine our way out of oppression. That’s a liberal feminist idea, and it’s completely fucking deluded, or it would have worked by now. We’re still fighting for our right to abortion here; redefining shit hasn’t gotten us anywhere. It’s a waste of energy better used for whacking the patriarchy in the kneecaps.
When you bandy around words like douche and hilariously call each other cunt, all the men hear is reinforcement of their sexist beliefs. You can smirk amongst yourselves and call men stupid for not getting your secret code, but your code means nothing outside of your group and has no effect on woman haters, the joke’s actually on you. And you’re pissing off other feminists who know better. Meanwhile men go on thinking saying douche and cunt are okay because hey, they heard women happily using those words.
Trying to reclaim antifeminist slurs is not only ineffective, it is cowardly. In pretending to go along with male supremacist culture, it avoids conflict with men. Nothing subversive about it.
Irony, subversiveness, satire: They’re all just flavors of compliance.
Exiled Stardust 
I did a postlet on FB the other day about women not having male-specific insults, while men have a female slur lexicon. Most of the insults aimed at men are like boomerangs that eventually circle back and hit women; SOB, MFer insult a man’s parentage and family, but ultimately the insult hits the mother, who is, obviously, always a woman.
I suggested ‘testerical,’ but that brings up ‘hysterical,’ so not sure if that really works.
Clitless Wonder I like, though.
I’m partial to “dickbag”.
I got that comment, too. “Scrote” also works. I like “clitless wonder” because it values the clitoris and points out men’s lack thereof. 🙂
I feel a little hashtag fever comin’ on. #clitlesswonder
Dick-wad. 🙂
Maybe they think that’s how reframing works.
I use douche to refer to a male who has, at best, zero sum value, but more likely only causes harm specifically to women as individuals and to womanity as a whole. The reference to caustic chemicals, infliction of needless pain and the causing of infection (from foreign bodies introduced into an otherwise clean environment) in female anatomy. So, “that douche” – for inflicting not just pain but sickening women and womanity any time it’s not just utterly useless. Douche, and their abrasive action (including to the point of debriding the lining of the uterus thanks to forced flushing), is a word only appropriately used to describe a man fucking shit up for women and womanity, just by being involved.
And I do it for the value of solidarity with wims who do understand what I’m saying there. I go out of my way to use “us-specific” language when I post, expressly for the purpose of exclusion. It works well, at least for me.
Nutwrinkle, fucknozzle, shit-cannon (sort of.)
I also like to express my condolences to the unfortunate woman who had to push this biological error out. (referring to said man)
Peenie, peen. Peenie-tales. Dickfoot. Fee-fees, feels. Nutsack, dickbreath, dickwad are uninspired favorites.
The thing about douche is that it’s been co-opted by The Man. Every time one of them hears you say it, he’ll think you’re supporting HIS definition of what it means (‘ew icky lady parts’). I think it’s of strategic importance that we don’t let male oppressors think we’re agreeing with them ever.
Yes, you’re definitely right – that’s why it can never be said directly to a man, but only about a man (if men are present, I just make a point of talking over their heads. Nothing they say is important or relevant anyway; this never fails to infuriate them.) In my experience, this specific method has the hidden bonus that as long as we hold the conversation right through them, very few use the word again themselves, however long they persist.
But YMMV, point is, douche is dangerous.
Probably my all-time favorite would have to be “closet rapist.”
That one has a certain unique power to stop men dead in their tracks many times from honesty overdose. But that’s the r-word, so it must be respected.
I like that one.